Originally reported by D-Listed:

It’s been reported that Tom Cruise has given Katie Holmes a super techy iPod filled with over 300 songs to help her keep silent during labor.

It was reported in the Sun a few days ago that Scientology “elders” brought in giant 6 foot signs to TomKat’s home to remind Katie to keep silent during birth. One reads: “Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable.”

The “birthing boards” will also tell staff and visitors to stay silent.

Followers believe it is traumatic for babies to hear their mother scream or groan when giving birth. They think it can cause “psychic” damage, which takes years of therapy to overcome.

The cult’s creator, sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard, once said: “Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and child.”

The doctrine stresses newborns cannot be poked or prodded for medical tests or spoken to for seven days.

And I say, has Ron Hubbard ever given birth? This funny bit also from D-Listed:

Tom Cruise has given Katie Holmes a special iPod with tunes for her to listen to while she gives birth. Tom not only doesn’t want Katie to make any noise, but he doesn’t want her to hear any noise either. God, giving birth to an alien is hard work.

A source said: “Tom wants her to listen to music through her earphones so there’s no noise in the delivery room.”

Dlisted has gotten a hold of the SUPER-SECRET playlist Tom made for Katie:

Loving the Alien – David Bowie
Martian Girl – The Acquabats
The Purple People Eater
The Theme from E.T.
Praying to the Aliens – Gary Numan
The Theme from The X-Files
Planet Earth – Duran Duran
Men In Black – Will Smith
Venus – Bananarama
Rocket Man – Elton John
People are Strange – The Doors
Mr. Spaceman – The Byrds
ATLiens – Outkast

Do you remember when you’d go to the drugstore with your mother and you’d pick up a push-pop from the tray on the counter? My favorite flavor was definitely Strawberry. A child would peel off the clear wrapping with yellow writing on the top and pop off the cap. One would then proceed to push the lolli-pop out of the cannister throught the base with a finger.

Sacriledge! The push-pop pushes no more! The candy has now employed a spring to do the dirty work. Little do they understand that licking your finger after you finish the candy is part of the entire push-pop experience! Additionally, it’s icreasingly hard to just find “strawberry” or “cherry.” Now kids have to choose for a selection entirely too large from “Super cotton candy crazy blueberry shock” to “Punch in your face lemon icer.” (P.S. I made those up.)

Ooooh the horror! Where has the real candy gone? What do you think of these changes?

In other news my shift key is getting stuck in the worst moments.
Me: Hey, whats up?
Friend: Not much, you?
Me: I”M FINE

For all you geeks out there (but of course you already know) today is PI day!

Pi day is traditionally March 14th: 3/14. Since pi is really a non-terminating decimal, the date is a reference to the commonly used version of pi: 3.14

Pi is:
1. (also pē) The 16th letter of the Greek alphabet.
2. Mathematics. A transcendental number, approximately 3.14159, represented by the symbol π, that expresses the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle and appears as a constant in many mathematical expressions.

Woohoo! And for kicks, here are the first 1000 decimal places:
3.
1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113 4999999837 2978049951 0597317328 1609631859 5024459455 3469083026 4252230825 3344685035 2619311881 7101000313 7838752886 5875332083 8142061717 7669147303 5982534904 2875546873 1159562863 8823537875 9375195778 1857780532 1712268066 1300192787 6611195909 2164201989

And you thought you were a nerd…
Ever since computers have calculated π to billions of decimal places, memorizing π has become a popular hobby for many people. The current world record is 83431 decimal places, and was set by a Japanese mental health counsellor named Akira Haraguchi, who is currently 59 years of age.[3] Before Haraguchi accomplished this on July 2, 2005, the world record was 42195, which was set by Hiroyuki Goto. See here, a website listing many people who have memorized impressive amounts of π.

References:
Wikipedia &
BBC News

Stolen from rahoi.com <3

It was a night like any other – people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, “Go ahead and look at the menu – it’s in English.”
“Oh Really?”

I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.

Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.

“I think I’ll have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.”

What’s in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?

keep on readin’

Make ya’ laugh ;)